June 17th, 2011

Dear Anonymous

  
20 pages, digest size, $?, edited by Namaste >>>wemakezines.ning.com + Windowfog.etsy.com + ladydorian.deviantart.com + wix.com/the_filth/zine (holy shit, you got enough digital addresses there, dude? is it too much to ask for a real actual physical address these days?)

[Thanks to Sticky for sending me another bunch of zines, including this one. Email them at downstairs[at]stickyinstitute.com and ask to be put on their mailing list for their monthly e-newsletter which contains zine columns, scene reports and reviews.]

Here's an anthology of letters written by a bunch of anonymous people, for whatever reason they couldn't write an actual letter, but this way is cooler for voyeuristic zine readers.
First up, a letter addressed to a car driver who almost ran over the author; another to a guy the author has a crush on; a disturbing letter that contains this painful admission: "As a 34-year-old woman I don't want my porn-addicted father to have to help me pull down my panties when I go to the bathroom."; another letter is to a guidance counsellor who wrote a note for the young author to take home - it suggested her parents continue to encourage their daughter's reading, and now as an adult she cherishes that letter, making a living writing and working with other writers; also a heartbreaking letter to the author's cat who died and she still can't get over it (this hit me hard since her words closely echo my fiance's feelings about her cat Charlie who died six weeks ago); then a disgruntled letter to a Hello Kitty shop owner who employed her then fired her for not being cute enough, or not being Asian (or maybe both).
Some hits and misses here, like all anthologies, but the hits pack an emotional punch, so it's thumbs up from me.

Laser Stan

  
52 pages, half digest size$? Cameron Baker >> cameronbaker[at]live.com.au
[Sticky sent me this one too. You guys rock.] 
Laser Stan is a daggy looking rabbit-headed character, he is a "goodie", he's got LASER VISION and can fly. But he's up against evil monkeys (why? we never find out.). They're "baddies" and can fly too (plus they can shoot unlimited ninja stars from their hands) just like daggy but super-powered Laser Stan. I'm changing his name to Loser Stan. It's more appropriate. Loser Stan heads to the monkeys' evil headquarters. Monkey-hating Stan attacks the monkeys, ripping them to pieces with his laser beams (the cunt). Then the monkey captain in desperation (all his monkeys have been slaughtered) sends out his ULTRA KILLER VELOCIRAPTOR METEOR but naturally Loser Stan (Douchebag Stan?) destroys him too. What a badass. In the final fight, the monkey leader in a robot suit takes on Stan. No prizes for guessing who wins.
To sum up, we don't give a shit about Laser Stan, we don't know why the monkeys are evil. In fact I'll bet that most readers would be on the monkeys' side.
The drawing is OK, and it's in colour, all pretty easy on the eyes, but that's worth nothing when the content is so damn lame.
P.S. It also comes with a dumbass poster, you lucky devils.

Cyberdelic Future #2

  
12 pages, digest size, cyberdelicfuture@gmail.com 
[Another one from my comrades at Sticky.] 
From issue #1 to issue #2 this zine has descended from a well-written manifesto with some cool art to a nauseatingly hippy dippy pukefest. Check this out for example: "Forget the doom and gloom peddled in newspapers and television and paint a rainbow on your life. Fill your world with glitter and make every day sparkle with fun and joy." Yep, that's the spirit! Bury your head in a bucket of fairy floss, inhale deeply, and pretend that life is all rainbows and unicorns. But you had better get the most out of that ridiculous sugercoated worldview while you can because time will surely fuck that shit up and drag your glittery head out of the unicorn's ass.
Too harsh? Well, the zines ends with some 'advice' on how to spread P.L.U.R. (Peace, Love, Unity and Respect):
- There's no such thing as too much glitter!
- Bake cupcakes and share them!
- Blow bubbles!
Shit, dude, if I woke up one day to find every single person in the world behaving this way I'd fucking KILL myself.